42 Christmases...that's how many I've shared with my mother. I am fortunate to have had that many. I know this. And yet, as I face my
first noel without her presence, I find myself wanting more...rather Scrooge-like of me no doubt. Truth be told, my moods have been many this holiday season; but, merry hasn't really been one. Thus far, merry has pulled a disappearing act. How am I supposed to
be merry, how can I
feel merry, when my mother is gone?
And then, I remembered. Mom didn't just help us put the merry in our Christmas, she showed us how. The shopping, wrapping & baking, the decorating, the music & goodwill, the
giving... these were not chores to be done; but, rather, merry-making traditions to keep. She taught us well. The lessons, like Mom, are not forgotten. And though it may take me a while, and I'll surely stumble a bit now & then, with some help from my "angels" here on Earth { & my guardian angels above}, I'll make my way to merry again.
42 Christmases...that's how many I've shared with my mother. I am fortunate to have had that many. I know this. And yet, as I face my first noel without her presence, I find myself wanting more...rather Scrooge-like of me no doubt. Truth be told, my moods have been many this holiday season; but, merry hasn't really been one. Thus far, merry has pulled a disappearing act. How am I supposed to be merry, how can I feel merry, when my mother is gone?
And then, I remembered. Mom didn't just help us put the merry in our Christmas, she showed us how. The shopping, wrapping & baking, the decorating, the music & goodwill, the giving... these were not chores to be done; but, rather, merry-making traditions to keep. She taught us well. The lessons, like Mom, are not forgotten. And though it may take me a while, and I'll surely stumble a bit now & then, with some help from my "angels" here on Earth { & my guardian angels above}, I'll make my way to merry again.
7 comments:
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. She was an amazing woman and she gave you the "tools" to make you who you are! May you find the joy that your Mom taught you for Christmas, so your girls will have that to remember. God bless!
You will, it takes time. The holidays are hard, but you will become merry again... I promise.
What wonderful memories of your mom and how she loving taught you to be the beautiful person that you are. With time, you will be able to find the merry once more.
Certainly focusing on how your mom brought out the 'merry' in the holiday season will be one of the strengths to get you through. And you will be in my thoughts and prayers as well, as I can't imagine a holiday without my own dear mother. I will be praying for unexpected joys and merriment to come your way all throughout the year Leah ;) you certrainly deserve them!
Leah,
I came by your blog via your BFF Sheila. Holidays are so hard after the loss of a loved one. Last Christmas was my first without my son, Jonathan, a time I never want to live again. But little by little I have allowed myself to embrace the sorrow and remember the life lived as a whole, a wonderful gift given to me as I journey toward my own eternity.
I think losing Jon, 14 months ago, has made me want to live my life to the fullest more than ever and make sure whatever I am doing I am doing it...
"With all my strength as unto the Lord" Colossians 3:23.
It is however a long and difficult road but you will never be alone.
You can carry all your Mom gave to you to all the family with memories, laughter, tears and honor. Share it all! Give it all away and you will be the richer for it.
May God Bless You This Christmas.
Fondly Meg
Leah~ I hope you can hold your sweet memories near and find your joy this Christmaas!
big hugs~~Dale
gorgeous ornaments~! One day I will find time to make some beautiful messy glittery ornaments! Looks like fun!
Happy HolidayS
~Angela
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