No Apologies

 I am a "feeler".  I have always been a gal who wears her heart on her sleeves.  

No poker face here.  Whatever I am feeling, however I am feeling, at any given moment, you will know it. I cry at the drop of a hat.  I sometimes yell when I'm angry or upset.  My daughters say I "make things weird" whenever I get too sentimental, compassionate, or philosophical.

They may be right. Perhaps I do.  I know I often get carried away with...or by...my feelings.  And, all too often, my feelings are easily hurt.  But ya know what? I am okay with all of this.  It has taken me four decades to get here...but here I am.  With plenty of feeling.  Good and bad.

 

I came across this quote the other day..."never apologize for showing feeling.  When you do so, you apologize for truth."  And I suddenly had...as Oprah would call it...an ah-ha moment.  At 47, I realized I have spent the better part of my life apologizing for my feelings. For showing emotion.  How crazy is that?? Apologizing for who I am...for how I was made? I think it's time I stopped doing that.  And be true to myself, as my mother always said.

 

So, no more apologizing for the roller-coaster of emotions that make me who I am.  I will always try to apologize if my words hurt or my actions offend.  And I will apologize for the few times {hee hee} that I am wrong.  Or when I make mistakes.  I'm just not going to say "I'm sorry" for how my heart feels anymore. And that feels really good.